Just Because you Can doesn’t mean you should

We live in a “if you’ve got it flaunt it” Society. Each generation becomes more and more sultry with our choice of clothing. We crave attention, it is a natural feeling. I remember growing up I always felt like I looked like a little boy. I didn’t have curves and never felt attractive to the opposite sex. I thought I had to wear midriff shirts and short shorts to get attention from the boys. While in deed that does work, it’s not the kind of attention a young girl needs.

I laugh when I look back at one moment, I was in the 7th grade and one of young guys told me “Emily one day you will be hot”.

I mean come on man!

It goes to show how such a flippant comment can stay with someone for a long time. I struggled with my appearance for a long time. Once I was saved I remember feeling that change, the change that I didn’t need to identify by my outwardly appearance. 

Early in childhood, I still remember my dad making sure my shorts weren’t too short and oh my lord he wouldn’t let me shave my legs in fourth grade 🙄 (I love you dad 😜) I roll my eyes because at that age I was annoyed. 

All I could think was “what’s the big deal, all my friends do it” My dad had valid fatherly reasons for not letting me grow up too fast. Thank you daddy 😊

He was right. 

“Anyone who loves a fellow believer is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble.”

1 John 2:10 NLT

For some reason our culture has moved away from caring if we make others stumble. How we dress doesn’t only affect men. It effects other women probably worse in this day and age. 

A lot of women have a problem with the statement “you will cause a man to stumble” because of course you think “it’s not my problem he can’t control his urges”

If you had a recovering alcoholic friend would you drink in front of them? What about any other addiction? Would you wave their vice in their face? I would bet, out of respect, most of you would not. It works the same way with flaunting our lady bits. Not only is this a stumbling block to men, but quite frankly it is a stumbling block for women. Do we lust and think of sex, probably not but what we do obsess about is this

Man I wonder if my husband is looking at her and wishing I looked like that

I’m so fat 

I wish I was as attractive as her

I wish I had her body. 

The lust from men and envy from women both are sins that can spiral into a life of insecurity and unhealthy expectations 

My daddy instilled in me modesty at a young age. This helped lead the way to be uncomfortable in too little clothing. 

So how do we know how to dress? How do we know where to draw the line. 

For one we shouldn’t worry so much about how we appear.

“For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing.”

Luke 12:23 NLT

There is more to us than how we look. Do I like to look attractive, absolutely. God has given me the ability to throw that care aside as far as what I dwell on. 

A second way I guide how I dress is my husband. At first it annoyed me when he would mention something showing too much skin. I would revert back to my comparison game “have you seen how other girls dress this is nothing”

That thought process is dangerous. Comparing ourselves to other worldly standards will only cause heartache and a constant feeling of failure for not matching up. 

If you’re not married and you need guidance on choosing your clothing, enlist a friend that you trust their opinion on this matter. Be prepared to disagree, but if you’re going to ask advice then you have to be prepared to be upset if they tell you to change 🤷🏻‍♀️

Once you start to see the things that your person tells you to change you’ll see a pattern 

And you will learn to discern the voice of God.

“Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

Proverbs 3:6 NLT

Search scripture, there is a lot out there. I am by no means saying we need to be in oversized clothing (which is oddly the trend now🤔) and a head wrap. I’m simply saying we need to clothe ourselves in a way that honors our father. We also need to be careful what we post on social media. You don’t truly know the impact of images on young minds, male or female. 

If you feel even a small conviction on this subject I pray you search yourself and ask God to show you if this is an area you need to improve. Ask Him to place someone in your life to help you navigate modest clothing. 

We have to dwell on being a good steward of our spiritual gifts. When you do that, the other stuff falls away naturally. Focus on waking up and put on our armor. The belt of truth and the body armor or righteousness 

“Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness.”

Ephesians 6:14 NLT

We owe it to the future generations to stop the “if you’ve got it flaunt it” mentality. 

How we dress matters.

How it effects people around you, matters. 

I don’t always succeed in this category but I do try. I’m thankful for my father for raising me up to dress modest and a husband that loves me enough to tell me to change. 

Proverbs 31: 30

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

5 Replies to “Just Because you Can doesn’t mean you should”

  1. I am so proud of you Emily for writing about your own experiences as a Christian and sharing God’s word with others.

  2. Emily, thank you for sharing and opening your heart! Your message is true to the times we live in and a reminder we should treat our bodies as God’s temple. ❤️

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