Rejection is Temporary

My road to becoming a CRNA was full of rejection and self-doubt.

Early on in this process, I met my husband, Ryan. He also had a desire to become a CRNA, and we both dealt with rejection from two different anesthesia schools.

After our second rejection, I did a lot of praying.

I seriously let myself get so incredibly defeated after not getting in. I legit put on The Notebook so I could sob and have a pity party. Ryan came home and found the emotional mess and was quite concerned. He thought someone had died 😆I know, dramatic right?

Not long after I had a dream and I swear God audibly spoke to me and said: “Emily you need to wait. Let Ryan apply, he will get in and I have something better for you”.

I know. I sound like I’m coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. I woke up and had the most incredible peace I have ever had about a decision. I had to have an awkward conversation with Ryan and tell him I wasn’t going to apply. You can’t argue with someone who says “God spoke to me”. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not long after he was accepted into Arkansas State University, and we moved to good ole Jonesboro, Arkansas! Go Red Wolves 🐺

Guess What?

Within four months God opened the door for me to apply and I got in! I started one year after him. This was such a divine experience.

When I reminisce about this part of my life, Hannah comes to mind.

I encourage you to read the whole story in 1 Samuel chapter 1.

Poor girl had to live with Peninnah parading around pregnant and mouthing off about her “closed womb” (1 Samuel 1:5).

1 Samuel 1:9-11 ESV

“After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. And she vowed a vow and said, ‘O Lord of host, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head”

Her prayer was desperate and in her heart. Her lips were moving, but no words were coming out. (1 Sam 1:12)

Eli coming up on her in the temple makes me think of when my husband, Ryan showed up and I was a hot mess crying over my rejection.

I looked crazy.

Hannah did too.

Eli even asked her “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you” (1 Samual 1:14)

After she explained herself to Eli he told her “Go in peace and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him” (1 Samual 1:17)

Hannah went on to give birth to Samuel. She kept her vow and brought him to Eli at the temple once he was weaned. Samuel went on to be a prophet of the Lord

(1 Samuel 3:20)

wow! Right?!

God is so cool.

Last week I spoke about faith and it’s these moments in my life that I can look back and see how God’s hand has always been in my life. We don’t have to understand the reason for our circumstances, but we do have to trust.

He did it for Hannah.

He did it for me.

He will do it for you!

Dear God, I pray for my reader who is experiencing rejection. I pray that amid this disappointment she lays it down at your feet. I pray for wisdom for her. I pray for peace and faith over the situation that keeps her up at night. As CRNA moms, we deal with so many different types of rejections, and Lord I pray that you would shape us and mold us to learn how to handle these moments with grace. I pray we could lift one another and support each other in our failures. Lord, I thank you for the schools that rejected me. I thank you because those rejections led me to where I am now, and I wouldn’t change a single thing. You are so magnificent and I give you all the glory. Thank you for my salvation, thank you for breathing life back into my dry bones.

In Jesus name

Amen

One Reply to “Rejection is Temporary”

  1. You do not sound crazy! It’s beautiful the way God spoke to you and guided you. I believe He speaks to us so many times and we (as in me) don’t listen. We just press right through to what we think is best. Thank you for doing this blog!

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